Social Anxiety

Study: Social Anxiety is Associated with Being an Empath

Those of you who are familiar with social anxiety will understand how hard social interactions may be for people suffering from this disorder. Simple everyday situations that seem perfectly fine to most people, such as talking to a stranger in the street or making a phone call, can lead to intense disturbing symptoms that accompany anxiety and stress: high heart rate, trembling, excessive sweating, etc.

And it’s not only about physical symptoms. It seems that socially anxious people can’t have a “normal” life – meeting new people, making friends, going out and partying – as almost any social situation causes discomfort and confusion. Many of them believe that something is wrong with them and they need to be “fixed”. 

But it’s not always as it seems, and there may be much more profound causes behind social anxiety disorder than we used to think.

Read full Article here .... http://themindunleashed.org/2015/01/social-anxiety-may-associated-empath.html

Can't stop thinking?

Can't stop thinking... think again!

So you have tried meditation, you have tried to still your mind and yet those thoughts just keep on coming..... 

So many people try to meditate and then give up when they struggle with their busy minds. Your mind has spent years just doing what it wants, thinking, problem solving, worrying, calculating and just doing whatever it pleases. 

You really can take control back of your mind. The mind is an amazing tool, but thats it.. a tool and like all tools it needs to be put back in its box once in while. 

To silence the mind is not as difficult as it may first seem.

Most people I meet have tried meditation and think they cannot do it because they cannot stop thinking. Well guess what..it's ok to think, yes really, it is ok to think when meditating. When a thought comes into your mind, observe it and then let it drift past like a cloud and return to your breathing. Try not to get wrapped up in the thought, just let it go. Keep doing this again and again and I promise you eventually you will get it!

Also, there really is no need to sit cross legged in silence with your hands on your knees chanting Om (although this is what you will probably be doing in 3 months!). Remember your mind needs to re-train itself, it is not used to all this not thinking stuff. It wants to think, it is used to thinking, so you must re-train your brain. 

Silence is not necessary and can make it daunting for meditation newbies. Gentle background music is a great way to start meditating (I will put a link at the bottom of this post to my YouTube music list).

Also be comfortable and go with the flow.. if you feel like moving, it's ok, if you have an urge to make a sound, that's ok too. Really to start with it is about you getting used to just sitting and doing nothing and observing your thoughts and feelings. Try to observe, not participate.

Another thing that helps with meditation is a ritual. It can be something simple like lighting a candle or placing a cushion on the floor, but make sure you do the same things every time. This helps the mind to start to learn that it is quiet time and eventually just the lighting of the candle or whatever your ritual happens to be will be enough to start your mind to be quiet.

Most of all be patient, do not give up. I promise you we all started at the beginning and I remember the moment I felt my mind go quiet and since that day I have meditated and enjoyed it. You will enjoy meditation. Like anything, it takes practice. I have a few more tips on my Meditation Tips page. http://blisski.blogspot.co.uk/p/meditation-tips.html

So next time you think you can't stop thinking... think again and go meditate :)

https://www.youtube.com/user/KiBliss

Happy New Year

Happy New Year

Every end is a new beginning.

Leave the old year behind and welcome in the new beginning with positive thoughts and an open heart.

Warmth and Light Michelle x

Happiness

Happiness: 3 Simple Rules

Gratitude - All we have is the moment, not the past and not the future, just now. Waiting for those things to come along that we think will make us happy or reminiscing about the things that used to make us happy or unhappy blinds us from all we have in the present moment. 

Being grateful for the moments we have now and every person and experience in our lives at this moment can really lift us to a higher vibration of joy. Practice finding something every day to be grateful for.

Compassion - Judging ourselves and others only brings sadness and negativity into our thoughts and our lives. Be gentle on yourself and others. Remember when you look at someone that you really do not know what they may be experiencing in their lives. When we feel and show compassion it promotes feelings of love and kindness which in turn promotes gratitude and happiness. Compassion to yourself, others and the world.

Positivity -  Thoughts only exist in your mind, they do not exist anywhere else, just in your mind. The are created by you and exist because you allow them to. You have control over your mind and how you choose to see the world outside your mind. Interpretation and perception is everything! Think positive and you will see positive, think positive and you will attract positivity.

If you practice these three things regularly until they become natural you really will find happiness.

Remember, thoughts only exist in your mind, they are nowhere else, so change your thoughts to gratitude, compassion and positivity and you will find happiness :)

The Meaning of Life

The meaning of life is to give life meaning

One of the biggest questions asked is 'what is the meaning of life?'.  

We ponder, we question, we look at oracles, we search on Google, we seek the answer many places for many years of our lives. 

Instead of seeking the meaning of life, why not give life a meaning. Stop looking for the answer and make your own. Your life is your own and what meaning you give to your life is also yours. What do you want your life to mean??? That is the real question. 

So press the pause button and think.... if you could do anything with your life and give any meaning to your life what would it be? If there were no restrictions and no limitations what meaning would you give to your life?

Once you have done that, think about what you can do to start making that happen for you. What first step can you take. Often the limitations and restrictions are ones we have put on ourselves. People often say to me, 'Oh I can't possibly do that' and when i say 'why not?', there is silence.....

We restrict ourselves and limit ourselves by saying we cant to a point where we don't even know why we cant anymore, it is just something we have told ourselves for so long.

So next time you hear yourself saying 'I can't', change it to 'how can I'.

Find what you want your life to mean and tell yourself .... 'I can'

Change your perception

Change your perception of the world and the world will change in front of your eyes

How many mornings do you get out of bed thinking  how bad your day today is going to be, or how much stress that person is going to cause, or how bad the world is???

So many things we feel helpless to change. There are so many things we cannot change and so many people we cannot change, but the one thing that we can change which is completely in our control, is how we perceive these events and people.  

When we view the world, situations and people in a more positive way suddenly the world becomes a more positive place. Nothing has changed but our perception of the situation. We often take things personally, feel betrayed or disrespected and internalise our world, feeling judged and mistreated. 

What would the world look like if we stopped internalising everything we see and start to externalise a more positive view of the world. Give out a positive energy rather than being engulfed in the negativity we perceive.

If we practice this regularly, we can change those situations and those people. By radiating a positive attitude and energy you raise the vibrations of everything and everyone around you. So start with raising your own energy vibrations and then see what happens around you. 

Make those changes and remember a small word of kindness goes a long way.

You will be amazed what a positive attitude can do for the world around you. Give it a try, decide to see the good in everything, yes everything, dig deep and see what happens :)

Follow your dreams

Do not let another persons nightmares get in the way of your dreams

Your path through life is uniquely yours. Your dreams are uniquely yours. 

Everyone in our life is walking on their own path, making their own journey, following their own dreams. When we understand this we learn to be less judgmental and less concerned about what other people think of our journey. Worrying about other people's opinions is a huge hold back on our dreams. The simple truth is, what is right for us at the time may not be right for someone else and vice versa. 

So if you happen to be walking along your path next to someone else who is walking along that nightmare path, remember it is their path and this is where they are at right now. 

It is ok to reach across from your path and hold their hand for a while, guide them a little.
Just be careful not to drag their nightmare onto your own path or even worse jump from your path to theirs! This won't help you or them. 

Sometimes we have to let others walk their path without us and continue on our own.  Trust that their path is unique and no one knows where they are going or what other helping hands awaits them around the corner. 

People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. 

Listen to your instincts, when its time to let go, let go. It is OK to support someone but if you carry them you will soon be weighed down and stuck with them!

Inner Peace

Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions

Our emotions are ours, we always have a choice how we respond to other people and the events around us.
We may not be able to control events and others but we can control our emotions.

Next time another person or an event begins to affect your inner peace, remind yourself that you control how you respond and whether or not you choose to loose you inner peace with your choice of emotion.

Take a few deep breaths and think before you let your emotions control you.

Let go!

Letting go of the life we planned can open us up to new things

Sometimes we push forward upstream against the flowing river determined to have the 'life we planned' even if it is not quite the life we want. We want to win, to succeed to get to our goal...

What if letting go of those plans opens new doors, new opportunities and a life that has been waiting for us to step into?

We often ignore the signs that we may be on the wrong track and changing our plans can seem a little unnerving. 

Surely it is much harder rowing against the current than going with the flow. 

Could there be something else waiting through that door? 

Worrying is a peace spoiler!

Worrying is nothing but a peace spoiler!

Can you think of any time at all that worrying actually achieved anything positive? 

Worrying must not get confused with planning. In fact planning for certain things can help us not worry. For example that exam becomes far less worrying if we have prepared for it by revising.

It's the other things, the things that have not even happened...that probably won't ever happen. The 'what ifs'. 

Worrying about all these things prevents us living peacefully in the present moment and solves absolutely nothing. Worrying does not change the possibility of an outcome.

It is far better to send out some positive energy and believe everything is going to be OK, knowing that if and when something requires your attention you are more than capable of dealing with it.

One of my least favourite sayings is 'the calm before the storm'. With this way of thinking even when you are in your most peaceful state you are expecting it all to go wrong soon. 

Thinking about that storm coming too much may just whir one up, so take that peace and extend into each and every day of your life.

Gratitude is the best attitude

Gratitude is the best attitude

Gratitude really is the best attitude and is a big key to happiness. 

Often in life we focus so much on the things that we want, we forget to enjoy the things we have in the present moment and forget to be happy :)

A common statement is, “I will be happy when I get this, or when I do this or that”, and once this or that is achieved the focus is extended onto the next desire forgetting to be grateful and happy about the achievements so far. 

It is good to dream and to want to move forward in life, but this should not be at the cost of forgetting to give thanks for everything you have at this moment. 

When we stop and appreciate the things we have in our life and express gratitude we feel more happiness. 

Stop for a moment and think about everything you have in your life right now, try extending that gratefulness to everything and everyone around you and watch gratitude turn those negatives into positives and sadness to happiness.

What are you grateful for today?

Good Karma

Create good Karma and become Calmer 

In Buddhist teaching, the law of karma, explains that 'for every event that occurs, there will follow another event whose existence was caused by the first, and that this second event will be pleasant or unpleasant according to whether its cause was beneficial or harmful, to others and oneself'.

Ten ways to create good Karma

1. Make someone else feel good. A simple smile or a gesture of kindness can make someones day.

2. Spiritual meditation. 

3. Express Gratitude. 

4. Do the right thing, even when no-one is looking.

5. Listen. Take time to listen to other people.

6. Compliment someone.

7. Relax and think about why your life is wonderful.

8. Seek wisdom. Seeking wisdom helps us be wiser and when we are wiser we make better choices.  
9. Love and accept yourself and others.

10. Let go of judgments about yourself and others.

Look out for the rainbow

When it rains on your sunny day remember to look out for the rainbow!

Many of our struggles are caused by faulty perceptions and incorrect thinking patterns. It is our nature to look for patterns and try to make sense of situations. Many times we are correct with our perceptions but sometimes we see patterns where they don't really exist and a cause where there is not one. 

One common negative thinking pattern is catastrophizing, which is where we focus on the worst possible situations and outcomes. This thinking pattern can prevent us from  beginning a new venture as we are sure it will go wrong. This thinking also causes great anxiety. 

The mere thought of taking on a new task brings upon the faulty thinking pattern that it is bound to go wrong and this triggers the anxiety.

In reality most of these events do not go wrong, everything does not always go wrong! Most of the worries never happen, and the few that do we end up coping with far better than we ever imagined. When we live with this catastrophizing thinking pattern we end up worrying about things that never happen and when we step out into the world we are blinkered from the good. We expect bad things, so that is all we see.

The problem is we miss so much when we think like this, we miss the beautiful rainbow shining though on that rainy day. It is never all rain, so matter how heavy it is, if there is not a rainbow at the time, it is coming. 

So next time you catch yourself stuck in the negative thinking of everything going wrong or everything being wrong and worrying about a million things that probably wont happen, stop and think about the times it went right, the things that are good, the rainbows in the rain and think positively about your thoughts and actions. 

Living a life with less worry = living a life with more happiness.

When it rains on your sunny day, remember to look out for the rainbow :) 

Create your own reality

Every thought and feeling creates your reality so make yours magical.

How we experience life is created directly by how we think.We have the power to change our life and our experience by changing the way we think. 

A simple change in the way you think or perceive something has a direct effect on your feelings, changing the way you react, which in turn changes how you experience your world. 

An example....we cannot control the weather but we can control how we perceive it. A rainy day can either be, damp, depressing and grey or it can be fresh and soothing providing nourishing water for our world.

Next time you have a thought or feeling that is making your experience of the world negative, challenge it, ask what else is possible? How else can I see this? What is a better way to perceive this right now and how may this be good for me?

Remember your thoughts and feelings create your experience so think positive, dream big and create a magical reality for yourself to be in.

Know Yourself, Love Yourself, Be Yourself

Know Yourself, Love Yourself, Be Yourself
In that order!

Know -To truly be yourself you firstly need to find out who you truly are and accept yourself. Take time to think about what makes up the essence of you. Look at your life and your choices. If you are not sure how much of your life is your choice then do the "belief system exercise" on my Blog first. 

To develop yourself it is important not to fixate on the past. Your past does not define you! Fixating on it prevents self growth. Give yourself the space to grow. Let go of the past and put it where it belongs, in the past.

Love  - Next, stop worrying about how other people view you. In life some people will like you and some wont, this does not mean there is something wrong with you, it is the beauty of difference! How dull if we were all the same. 

Do not compare yourself to others or you will never be happy. Comparison only leads to resentment and when filled with resentment there is no room to focus on being yourself as you are too busy trying to be someone else. Comparison also leads to criticism of others. A life filled of the need to criticize others often stems from low self esteem, so if you suffer from this, take some time to think about how you view yourself and start to admire and look at your positive characteristics to build some self love. 

Be  - Lastly, live it, go and be you, not anyone else just you. Do things that YOU love and that make you feel good. This is part of being yourself. Think about what makes you happy and go do it. 

Once you have found out who you are and accepted every part of your unique beautiful self, go and be the true you!

There are no obstacles if you can jump high enough!

There are no obstacles if you can jump high enough!

In life we often create our own obstacles. We look at what we want to achieve or do and then start creating obstacles as to why we cannot do it. Such as 'there is not enough time’..... ‘it didn't work last time I tried'....., 'I am not good enough'....... 'I can’t'.

When we start creating these obstacles we stay stuck behind the obstacle and keep making it higher and higher until we reach a point where we can justify not jumping it and say; 'now look, this obstacle (I have created!) is so high I can’t possibly jump over it'. 

Imagine a runner in a hurdle race, starting off, building momentum then getting to the hurdle and stopping right in front of it, looking at it and saying 'I can’t jump this it’s too high', well of course it’s too high because the momentum is gone. The only way to jump that hurdle is to start the race, see the hurdle coming, keep running at it and jump. 

We can jump those obstacle in life if we just keep the momentum and belief going and stop any doubt and reasons creeping in that make us stop and observe too much the problem we have created in front of us.

Belief system exercise

Belief system exercise

Write down as many things as you can that begin with the word ‘I’, such as 
I am......
I should .....
I think the world is......
I think I should always......
I believe.......
I want.........
I need.........
I think other people ........
Anything that is part of your general belief system about yourself, the world, others, how you should behave etc. 

When you have done as many as you can think of, look at each one and write down next to it where that belief came from such as parents, peers, society, partners, the internet? Any that do not say "me" next it, change it, write a new one and make it yours. 

We can go though life for many years with belief systems that are not ours. When we are growing up so many people influence our beliefs with their own. We sometimes wonder why we do not know who we are.

This exercise will help you to find the parts of you that are truly you and change the ones that are not helping you to complete the jigsaw puzzle that is YOU :)

Busy, Busy, Busy? Press PAUSE!

.  and......
  1. Take a deep breath
  2. Smile
  3. Call a loved one
  4. Laugh
  5. Think of something positive
  6. Remind yourself or your dreams
  7. Express gratitude
  8. Look around you and notice something beautiful
  9. Look inside yourself and notice something beautiful
  10. Put your phone away/turn off your computer
  11. Take another deep breath

Notice the moment you are in, live it, enjoy it or learn from it, for it will never come again ...........

Smiling makes you happier!

Smiling makes you happier so smile first, be happy later!

Here are 3 reasons to smile today:

1. Smiling helps to reduce all our stress hormones like cortisol, adrenalin and dopamine whilst increasing the happy endorphin hormones as well as reducing blood pressure.

2. A smile is contagious. As children we learn to smile by mimicking people smiling at us. This habit is still within us. A little like the contagion of a yawn! So not only can you make yourself feel better you can pass it on to someone else. Smile at someone today :)

3. Smiling connects us with other people and is worth so much more than you can imagine. So often we forget the power of a smile, a kind word, a listening ear and small acts of kindness. 
These are small things which have huge effects. So share this smile with someone else today and spread the happiness.

Looking for the answer?

Looking for the answer? Look no further than yourselfie!

So many times we look outside of ourselves for the answer. we ask questions about life, relationships, parenting, work, spirituality, the world, the universe and everything!

What if I were to tell you that to find these answers you need look no further than yourself...Who knows you better than anyone else? Who has lived with you the longest? Who has been there through all your ups and downs? Who has felt every experience you have ever had? Who has known how you really feel when you put on a brave face? Who knows all the lessons you have learned from all your life experiences? Who knows your heartaches and your sorrows, your deepest desires, your wildest dreams and fantasies? Who knows how you really feel about that certain person? Got it yet???? There is only one person that truly knows all these things and its YOU. The modern day craze of selfies, which pop up on just about every social media site you come across is so symbolic of what we all should do. If you want a true picture of yourself take it yourself, if you want a true reflection of yourself look in the mirror. If you want any answers look within yourself. Only you truly know yourself, so surely you are the best person to answer those questions. Just trust your instincts, listen to your gut and go for it :)